


Of hatred and clouded thoughts

by endorsea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Mention of sexual content (which is barely there)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26302606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endorsea/pseuds/endorsea
Summary: Everything about Hinata Shouyou annoyed Kageyama to no end.(in which Kageyama goes through an existential rumination because of a certain orange-haired boy)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 22





	Of hatred and clouded thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote on a whim. Please excuse any spelling/grammar errors.

Everything about Hinata Shouyou annoyed Kageyama to no end. From his rambunctious energy to his stubborn determination, unable to admit defeat, not letting anyone look down upon him. Hinata viewed and treated everyone as his equals. He would easily express his admiration for anyone, but would bow or submit to no one. An unfledged bird that thought it could grasp and challenge the world by its delicate yet eager wings.

Kageyama hated him (and respected him) for that.

Everything about Hinata Shouyou blinded him, leaving him in doubts and triggering an unnameable feeling which crawled under every inch of his skin, seeped into every marrow of his bones. Sometimes, he believed that Hinata was someone sent by a divine entity just to defy him, to counteract all of his beliefs, to challenge everything that he once was. He once embraced voluntary reclusion until Hinata brought the concept of teamwork, friends and allies. He used to drown his own voice into the deepest part of his being, where his insecurities and fears resided, before Hinata Shouyou stormed in and screamed out every word in the most ear-piercing, obnoxious way possible. It left Kageyama no choice but to snap back and tell him to shut up, because _God, he's so annoying._

Everything about Hinata Shouyou was contradictory. He spoke in a kind of loudness that irritated Kageyama, but at the same time, it made the world seem less monotonous and more alive. Even though Hinata wore his heart on his sleeves, and was never the one who mask his own feelings, he was still a mystery that Kageyama could never wrap his fingers around. Every gesture, every word rolling out from his tongue were arbitrary, unexpected, inexplicable, just like all of the Math problems he often struggled with. And despite possessing a stature which was far from intimidating, Kageyama couldn't help feeling so small, helpless and yielding in front of him, as if he was some godly force to be reckoned with. But after all, _he's just Hinata Shouyou_ , and Kageyama could not quite understand him (or himself) no matter how hard he racked his brain.

He didn't know why Hinata was always able to tear down his defensive wall, bring out the most intense and confusing feelings in him. How could someone so annoying, clumsy, idiotic and loud-mouthed have such an impact on him? It just didn't make any sense, but then again, _nothing_ about Hinata Shouyou made sense.

Everything about Hinata Shouyou intrigued him. From the way his lips pursed into a pout when being scolded, to how his eyes brightened up when he managed to perform a perfect spike. Kageyama was puzzled by how bright his presence was on court, how his sweats glistened and eyes brimmed with resolve.

With Shouyou and others standing by his side, Kageyama felt empowered, felt like maybe, _just maybe_ , they could indeed conquer the whole world with the spread of their delicate wings and stubborn determination. And just the mere thought of that made him feel alive again.

Playing alongside Hinata, he began to appreciate the sweats and breathless gasps of his teammates in matches, grew to cherish the encouraging shouts and high-fives and hands-on-shoulders and pats-on-backs. It was good to be surrounded by the warmth radiating from your teammates, instead of the cold stares, turned backs, regrets and _no one._

He was glad to have Hinata Shouyou by his side. He was glad to be the only one who could witness everything out of him. From how soft his lips felt against his, to the way his eyes shone with wonder when they pulled back from their first kiss one afternoon. He looked at Kageyama with a kind of timidity and fondness that made Kageyama's heart clench.

Hinata in the bedroom was as fierce and mesmerizing as he was on court. Being a chatterbox that he was, he made the most lovely sounds, especially when he uttered the syllables of his first name: _To-bi-o_. He was both compliant yet controlling at the same time, always allowing Kageyama to bend, shape and fold him while, in return, tearing down Kageyama's composure and pushing him towards the edge.

And again, Kageyama hated it as much as he _adored_ it.

Hinata never ceased to astonish him, confuse him, enlighten him, aggravate him, even if they had known each other for two years. There were times when Kageyama imagined their future after graduation, where their wings would carry them to different paths, different courts. They would no longer wear the same uniforms, would receive pats and encouragement from different teammates, and someday might end up facing each other on opposite sides of the net. But he's pretty sure Hinata would still be just as vibrant, beautiful, blinding and annoying without him by his side.

Thinking about it pained him more than he's willing to admit. But it's okay. Those worries could wait. For the time being, he still needed to unravel the mystery that was Hinata Shouyou, whom he despised, feared and _loved_ in equal measure.


End file.
